Hey Self-Love Clique! (we’re trying out different names so just go with it) How are we doing? I hope everyone’s had a lovely Thanksgiving and an even better #gratitudeweek. In honor of W. Love, Noelle turning one month in just TWO days, this week’s topic will be the second part of Letter #1! I’m so proud that we’ve gotten to one month and I can’t wait to see where God takes us on this beautiful self-love journey! I hope and pray that The Self-Love Blog has encouraged and helped you in SOME way. My prayer moving forward is that we grow as one big self-love community, bringing forth unity, love, and sisterhood. Okay, let’s dive right in before I keep rambling!
So, if you missed Letter #1, seriously stop reading this and go read it immediately because you can’t read part 2 before reading part 1, we just don't do that! In the first segment, Let’s Self-Reflect, we discussed applying self-love through self-reflection by figuring out our likes and dislikes about ourselves. In this letter, we’ll be doing some external self-reflection. That simply means, what do I want around me? What don’t I want around me? How do I want to be seen? What do I want to put out into the world and receive from the world? Now, this self-reflection thing is a CONSTANT aspect of your self-love journey. One should ALWAYS be self-reflecting because we, as people, are always evolving, and our environments change constantly as well. You can’t expect to go through life being stagnant. You might as well just call that death because that sure ain’t life.
So I’ve digressed, let’s start from the “beginning”. The first two questions asked were “what do I want and what don’t I want around me?” Let’s break this down. This literally means, people, places, things. As we grow and glow through this self-love adventure, the answer to this question will change many times. But the goal is, for the answer to continuously change positively. For example, there are just certain people I cannot follow on social media anymore. Why? Because they post nothing and I mean NOTHING but negativity and my spirit just cannot handle that. You have to treat your mind, body, and soul as very fragile materials because they ARE. You are special and delicate. What you’re feeding yourself will then become what you’re excreting to the world. If all you’re feeding yourself is negative, gossipy posts from Facebook, eventually you’ll turn into the person whose timeline is full-on negativity. There are plenty of old school sayings about this and trust me, they’re all true. You truly have to guard yourself. So how do I figure out what I do and don’t want around me? Through self-reflection right Noelle? RIGHT. This goes right back to talking to yourself girl! You KNOW when you’re a certain place and you’re just plain uncomfortable. That is somewhere you don’t want to be. You also know a certain group of people that make you uncomfortable whenever you’re around them. Those are people you don’t want to be around. Praying for the spirit of discernment will also help with this from a spiritual aspect. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Eph. 6:12. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no bible scholar but this is one of the few scriptures I have memorized. I carry this scripture in my heart with me because I know that there are certain places I just do not belong anymore. It’s spiritual warfare out here y’all and that is nothing to play with.
The next question asked was “how do I want to be seen?” We’re going to go a little deep into this because I don’t want anyone to misunderstand me when I say, I do not care what people think about me. As previously stated in Letter #1, people are going to talk about you sis. That hate ain’t goin anywhere so you have to just learn to ignore it. Seriously, brush ya shoulders off boo. BUT there’s a fine line there. No, you shouldn’t care what anyone thinks of you. DON’T care as a matter of fact. But what do YOU think of you? How do YOU see you? Are you meeting your own standards? I hope we are beginning to see why self-reflection is so important. Here’s how I see it, no one can tell me ANYTHING about myself because I constantly check myself. In other words, you can’t tell me anything about myself because I KNOW ME. Feel me? Okay good. Once you’ve self-reflected, taken out your own trash, and seriously prayed about YOU, nobody can tell you anything. Well, they can, but the thing is, how much of what they’re saying to or about you are really facts? Probably none of it because they’re referring to an old version of you or a version of you they’ve made up. And quite honestly, none of that is any of your concern because you’re out here minding your business and glowing on your self-love journey. Whew, I like where this is going let’s continue.
Finally, we were asked what do we want to put out to and receive from the world. This goes right back to what I mentioned about negativity and Facebook. Only in this case, it’s more than just social media, it’s our lives and what we're surrounding ourselves with. In regards to what we want to put out into the world, this is a serious question because everything we do leads to a specific outcome. So this means that if we’re constantly spewing out negativity (constantly complaining, being a naggy nagster) then we’re only going to receive more things to complain and nag about. It’s a constant cycle and realizing this is beneficial to your self-love journey. I was one to complain, nag, I was a negative Nancy. Every little thing, it didn’t matter WHAT it was, I found a reason to complain about it. Through therapy, I learned that my external complaints about every little thing were because I wasn’t happy with ANYTHING internally. So my internal negativity then turned to external negativity. It got to the point that people didn’t want to be around me because the only thing I ever focused on was pure negativity. That’s NO fun and it becomes extremely draining. That’s all negativity is: draining and it sucks the life and the fun out of everything. Don’t be a fun sucker. Be a fun giver. How do I do that? Self-reflection honey! Change your thinking, redirect your mindsets. If you find yourself being a naggy nagster, figure out WHY you’re unhappy with everything. More than likely there’s an underlying cause to your complaints that you’ve ignored for a while. It’s okay to grow, it's okay to change and become a positive Patty. But what’s not okay is eject negativity into the world and then complain about how your life is trash. Well sis, self-reflect and take that trash out! I’m a firm believer in what we put out, we will then receive. I’m a witness, once I figured out that I was unhappy and it was affecting everything around me, I changed my thinking. I stopped feeding myself with so much negativity. Sometimes you have to unfollow people! That's okay! You’ll probably be better off without their negativity anyway! Follow self-love pages. Follow pages that put out scriptures and positive affirmations and pretty, kindhearted things. Flood your life with positivity, it’s worth it. You’re worth more than negativity. You deserve more than negativity. You deserve everything good and wholesome and positive. So give yourself that. Become confident in your own positivity.
Alright, self-love gang! (How’d we like that one? I’m indecisive) That’s it for this week! Don’t forget we turn ONE MONTH in only two days! And that calls for a celebration! Follow me on Instagram @noellethepoet, I’ll be going live and hosting a Q&A on my page! I’m so excited that you’ve decided to take this journey with me and I love you for it! Thank yourself! You deserve it!
W. Love,
Noelle
P.S.
I don’t think there will be a third segment, BUT don’t quote me on that. Much love, Smooches!
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