If you are a frequent social media user, then you’re familiar with memes. There’s a few out there saying things like “I just love when the trash takes itself out.” I love little memes like that because they’re great comedic relief. Today, we’ll be talking taking out the trash, but the trash, in this case, is us. Yes, sis, sometimes we have trash tendencies that we blatantly ignore, so let’s discuss how to get rid of it.
First, what is this “trash” you speak of? The trash that I’m speaking about is all your toxic traits. What are the toxic traits? Literally, EVERY negative trait you have, whether that be manipulation, hate, selfishness, dishonesty, or pride. There comes a point in life where enough is enough and the trash just needs to be burned because it's not getting you, or anyone else, anywhere. Okay, Noelle, how do I take this trash out? It’s me, I’m the trash how do I take myself out? Well, buckle your seatbelts because this is bout to be one wild ride. Nine times out of ten, you either A. Know you’re toxic and you’re just ignoring it, or B. Someone has told you you’re toxic and you’ve ignored them or didn’t believe them. THIS is where self-reflection comes in because YOU know what you do, what you think, and how you feel. Most times the toxicity starts in our minds and can stem from negative experiences we’ve faced. Other times, however, we’ve just created these toxic traits within ourselves for no good reason. I’m here to tell you, toxicity is NOT cute and it’s time to get it together.
In the case of A. You know for a fact that you’re toxic and you’re just ignoring it, you’ve already identified that you have toxic traits, you’re just being lazy and not doing anything about it. That stops today. Since I’m sure you’ve already identified what toxic traits you have, you need to do something about them. Self-reflection is a huge part of the self-love journey and it will do you a great justice when you’re trying to grow up and glow up. Take some time and ask yourself, in regards to these toxic traits, “Why am I like this?” And “What do I want to be like?” The first step is to stop ignoring it. Living with toxic traits really will only hold you back. You really don’t want to be 70 and still toxic. That’s not fair to you or anyone else that has to deal with your toxicity because you’re worth more and so are they. The second step is to do some self-cleaning. Once you’ve originally identified your toxic traits through self-reflection, it’s time to get rid of them. For example, if you’re hateful, figure out WHY you’re so angry and harbor so much hate in your heart. Once you’ve found the root of the hate, work on trying to get over that. Usually, once you’ve identified the root of a problem, it’s a little easier to understand the problem and then get over the problem. But what we’re not doing is ignoring our problems. Problems+ Ignoring them= more problems and nobody needs that. The third step is pretty easy: turning your toxic traits into positive ones. Turn that hate and anger that’s in your heart into love and understanding. You never know, turning this around for yourself can, in turn, help you help somebody else.
In the case of B. Someone has expressed to you that you’re toxic and you’re ignoring them and/or don’t believe them. This is a little more difficult for two reasons. One, the person calling you toxic, maybe toxic themselves and you’re just a victim of them projecting their toxicity onto you. Two, you really are as toxic as they’re saying and they’ve become the victim of you projecting your toxicity onto them. Now you may read this letter and think, “Wow Noelle, you talking about us, but what about you, sis?” It’s transparency time. The whole reason I’m writing this letter is because I too was toxic. I was a mix between A and B AND I projected my toxicity onto others. I hurt a lot of people because I had previously been hurt. Don’t do that. Whether it's conscious or subconscious. Don’t do it. Therapy helps a lot with this also, and that’s honestly how I learned how to take my own trash out. But enough about me, let’s get back to the point. The same steps I used in A should be used for B. The only way you’ll truly know whether it’s you, or them is through self-reflection and prayer. Prayer helps a lot with this because most times we don’t like to admit when we’re having problems, let alone when we’re the problem. Prayer allows you to be transparent with yourself and God without risk of nosey people getting all in your business.
This letter was a little bit more on the rough side, and I thought the last one was rough. BUT lovelies we made it! I hope you take this and really do some self-reflection because the world is full of toxicity, why would you want to contribute to it? No, be the light in this world full of darkness. There are plenty of scriptures and quotes about light and darkness but my favorite comes from John 1:5, “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” Before I get to rambling I’ll end here for the day. Thank you so much for reading. And don’t forget to take your trash out.
W.Love,
Noelle
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