Letter #1: Dear Me, Let's Self-Reflect

When I (finally) sat down to begin this first letter, there was a large debate about what I wanted to speak on first. But then I was reminded of the beginning steps of my own self-love journey and I knew exactly where to start.

Before I get too deep in my own thoughts, let’s first learn what self-love really is. In todays society, the term is used so loosely and carelessly, to the point that it has lost its genuine meaning. Self-Love is simply knowing who you truly are and loving every part of it. No this is not the dictionary.com meaning, but it is the simplest way to break the word down without overcomplicating it or underwhelming its meaning.

So now that we understand the actual definition, how do we apply it? What do we do with it? How do I know who I am, and then love ME? I’m SO glad you asked! Girl, these are questions I’ve been asking myself for years, and as we know, there’s no such thing as a dumb question.

Let’s begin with the first question, how do we apply it? We first need to do some self-reflecting. Figuring out US. What do I like about ME? What DON’T I like? Now, I am by no means an expert on this, like I’ve said, we’re on this journey TOGETHER honey, and trust me it ain’t easy, and it definitely doesn’t happen over night. But I’ve learned that by taking one day at a time, we can then become that much closer to the ultimate goal of true and complete self-love. If you’re anything like me and you’ve been through hell and back (probably about two or three times) then you more than likely feel like you don’t even know who you are anymore. Figuring out what you do and don’t like is the easiest way to begin learning YOU again. (Reminder: it ain’t gonna be easy baby! But I promise you it’ll be worth it.) Start with small things. What are your hobbies? What did you used to love to do that you’ve neglected (probably for years) but have been yearning to get back to? For me, it was music and art. I LOVE all art forms. When I was in my young teenage years I would paint. Trust me I’m no Picasso, but it was something that brought me great joy because I was able to create something out of nothing. Small things like that, whether you’re good at it or not, are important to your self-love journey because it’s what makes YOU happy. And that’s all we’re aspiring to be right? Happy? Yes.

Now onto the more difficult question: what DON’T I like about me? For me, the answer to this question quickly turned into a long list of things I didn’t even know how to deal with, nor did I even know where to begin. But then I analyzed the list (cause I analyze everything don’t ask why I have no idea) and I realized that a good portion of the things I didn’t like, came from others opinions of me, others views of me, and things people projected onto me. For example, for a long while I hated the way my body looked. I was too big in too many places and those thoughts quickly turned into a big pile of self-hate. Little did I know, it also diminished my self worth which is directly linked to my self-esteem. But when I really sat down to think about it, I DIDN’T hate how my body looked. I constantly compared myself to society’s version of the “perfect” woman, you know the “slim-thick”, “what waist” campaign that’s plastered everywhere. I in fact have a waist. Probably 3 waists and that’s OKAY with me. Why, you ask? Because I learned 2 things. 1: My goal in life isn’t to look like or be like the “perfect” woman. My goal in life is to be happy. And be ME (whatever that means) and 2: I know my self worth. I know that I am more than a body. I am unique. I am me. Uniquely me. And there’s only ever going to be ONE me. It literally gets no better than that! Once I learned those two things, half my “what I hate about me” list was irrelevant. We, as women especially, have to stop doing a few things. 1. Comparing ourselves to our sister. 2. Stop putting each other down and living for the “Petty Labelle” title. Petty was never cute. Unfortunately society is going to constantly be against us but that’s okay because “If God be for me, who can be against me?”

Now I realize that this first post was a little on the long side, but honestly most of my posts will be. The goal with the Self-Love Blog is to help others and myself grow into beautiful confident women of all colors ages and styles. This is only the beginning lovelies! Thank you so much for deciding to join me on this beautiful journey to truly loving ourselves. Thank yourself! You’ve made an amazing decision just by simply choosing YOU.

W. Love,

Noelle

P.S.

This is only part 1, stay tuned for part two!